Hive warfare.

*she sighs heavily, in her eyes its obvious she cares, but isn't willing to sacrifice her reputation* "fine, make sure it doesn't" *she wanders off into the warehouse to find some target to test her sword*

There are a few barrels and wooden poles.

*Max stands and wipes the blood on the inside if his shirt before putting his clothes on and going the others*

*she draws her sword and moves it I long, slow swings, barely tapping the wooden posts, slowly building up speed and strength until she is splintering them with every blow*

"Sorry about that"

You get a mesage on the data slate.

*akira pulls the slate out and reads it*

+you have a mission, go to the abbersmite dockyards, there you will find a man called Groton. He has the brief for you+

*she reads it out loud* "alright, get some food in you, we move in 10"

"Pass me the data slate, we have one more man"

*hands it over*

*I contact the squat and give him our location*

OOC: fuuuuuuck
There I am domination Central Europe, Prussia being geniuses who are at war with everyone decide to declare war on me.
I literally blitzkrieg my way through their lands and leave them with one region, encircling: Bavaria, Wittenberg and Westphalia (nation states that have overpowered economies) (seriously, little to no trade and they have the most well developed and most powerful army that isn't mine), they're allied with Austria who's allied with me, what do the Austrians do?
They back the fuck away, and to make matters worse Poland (Russia's ally) declare war. Russia backs the fuck off too(thank fuck)

So now my recent holdings and veteran units are completely surrounded!

OOC: Great Sweden just told me to fuck off and ended our 30 year trade agreement...cunts
Once I finish annhilating Eastern Europe, I'm going to conquer them and then I'm gonna finish taking southern America, then I'm gonna fuck over the Marathans(India) and conquer them too!!

OOC: after much toiling away with setting taxes I've managed to avoid bankruptcy!!
Aaaand send every single army in the Americas toward Europe.

They declared war on me...the took my lands but now...
The Empire Strikes Back!
*intro music*

OOC: and now the Swedish have declared war.
Apparently they're disputing King George's claim to the throne, it's not like he was the legitimate heir to the throne *sigh*

Time to conquer Sweden

OOC: I'm such a nice king...

I let the Prussian rebels (Prussia got wiped out as a faction) retake Berlin, I sued for peace and they accepted. I just gave them the province of Sackny and now they're my allies against Sweden!

OOC: FUCKING MOROCCO!

They declare war and immediately invade a defenceless Sardinia...now I have to sack their capital and obliterate Sardinia , on the plus side Westphalia and Bavaria just what their pants and died for peace upon realising that I have brought multiple armies to their doorstep

OOC: it's like every faction is controlled by a single entity, the Moroccans are trying to halt my trade and reinforcements whilst the other nations desperately try to hold out.

Of course I use actual warships with cannons! They use strange little rowing boats XD

Oh my.

OOC: my entire fleet just got owned by 20 light Galleys....20 tier 1 ships
One light galley has more firepower than a fucking 1st rate ship of the line...a four gun, FOUR GUN ROWING BOAT HAS MIRE FUCKING FIREPOWER THAN THE A FUCKING 1ST RATE!

OOC: in game description

Light galleys have sails and oats, and light cannons mounted on platforms.....

Light cannons...LIGHT CANNONS?! IT FUCKING TWO SHOT MY VESSEL!
You know what...fuck it! I'm reloading that save and auto resolving it!

OOC: oh look, they failed entirely in auto resolve but not in game

Hello Nerus!!
Sorry about the ranting

Tis fine.

It crashed

My fucking game crashed

How are you?

Good, you?

I'm alright, I either want my ex to magically appear so I can "calm down" or someone I can murder.

I think the game hates me, it crashed to desktop seven times whenever I tried to auto resolve that naval engagement, so now I clicked retreat and the game is working fine *sigh*

Heh

This game (Emlire: Total war) has a bug where, the more land you control, the lag gets worse.
Surely having less nations to control would be a good thing, but apparently not.
Even folks using high end gaming PCs have the problem

Heh....I just wiped out a faction...their neighbour just declared war on me, and they have even less than their buddy

...I know the AI gets certain bonuses but this is absurd!
The Knights of St John own Malta, Malta produces 2747 gold per turn. The Knights have a 49% tax rate giving them 1346 hold per turn for their use.
They built and maintain a fleet of: Five 4th Rate Ship of the Line, 3 Sixths rates, a bomb ketch and a Dhow
A 4th rate SotL cost 1794 to build and a further 460 per turn as upkeep, on those alone they should go bankrupt as upkeep would cost 2600 per turn!
I haven't even added their standing army or the other vessels they have!

I just turn around and head back to base.

You arrive as the gang is preparing to move out, you see that Euans dude is laying unconscious on a bed.

"Had one too many did he?"

"We don't know, he just turned up and collapsed"

"Maam, sir, everyone is suited up. We are ready to move out" says the aged man you found at the bar, Stenn is his name. He's holding a blocky autopistol, and a sheathed knife on his chest.

"Going somewhere are we?"

*contacts the Squat and the Juve*

"Military man are you? Good, lets keep this style up, we aren't some gang of scum. *looks over* we've got a job to do, fall in, we're leaving"

*Gestures for you to lead the way*

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