Some heretical ass fanfic

So kiddies I might write fanfic... Now hold yo horses, it isn't going to be shit.. Hopefully. Also it might have sex in it because kitten told me to... K bai, off to write heresy

Here's the first bit, kind of a test to see if you like the style

Across the imperium, millions of guardsmen die every day, defending its very existence. But occasionally, through luck, determination, and flat out refusing to die, one manages to do the impossible. This is the story of one such man.

As I laid face first in the mud, las rifle in hand, and a veritable horde of orks charging my position, I found myself contemplating options. Number one, run like fuck and hope orks are as bad at shooting as everyone says, number two, bury my face in the mud and reassess my commitment to the breathing enterprise, or three, get up, put my man pants on and go down fighting, screaming bloody murder and for the emperor, and hope the bolter bitch hears it and puts in a good word for me. After noticing the commissar's bolt pistol, I went for option three.

I hauled myself out of the dirt, and stood on the parapet, unleashing las fire from the hip, I even gave the for the emperor a good go too, although there was too much mud on my face for it to come out as anything but "furr thhhr emprrr" with considerably more spluttering.

It was at this point i found out people who call lasguns flashlights have a point. I unloaded holy fury into a burly charging ork, and to my credit, it probably saved my life, one of the beams hit him in the eye, so instead of barreling into me with enough force to break every one of my ribs, he hit the commissar next to me while flailing.

The commissar, I think his name was Dunsen, died rather quickly, as his head was caved in by one massive fist.

I looked down at my lasgun, then at his bolt pistol. Then did the logical thing and threw my lasgun at the ork, ran forwards, scooped up the pistol, and put a round into the lasgun, now speared into his chest. The explosion was rather satisfying.

To complete the set I quickly stole his combat blade, I rather thought I'd need it considering. My view of glorious death in battle came entirely from imperium propaganda, and the guy fighting almost always had a sword.

I glanced over my shoulder to see the sister, probably the sole reason most of us were still breathing. She was fighting off two huge orks, beating one senseless with the butt of her bolter, while carving the other a new arsehole with her chain sword.

I can already see where this is going

Can you?

(Yes that is the sister jax is going to shag later) but not for a long framing time

Okay

Where did you think it was going?

Also next little bit

The thought flashed through my mind that perhaps I should stop watching her kill things and do some of it myself, the thought was kindly punctuated by an axe flying over my head. The ork who threw the axe looked at me for a second, and I looked at him, he looked at the bolt pistol, yelled "WAHHGGGHHHH" and ran at me. That just made the bullet hit him harder and his head explode that little bit more.

Orks are amazingly stupid, after seeing two of their mates get turned to shrapnel, they ran straight at me and got bolter shells to the face. In the momentary lull caused by obliterating three of the enemy in less than five seconds, I took the time to notice, the only people left standing, out of the three hundred alive this morning. Was me and the sister. ~fuck, I'm going to die. I'm going to die with only a nun for company~ I was brought out of my trance by the most violent list of expletives I'd ever heard, and I'm
pretty creative with my curses, that ended in a burst of bolter fire and a spray of blood.

"Guardsmen! To me in the emperors name!" Another volley of bolter shells. Another ork took one of my bolts, in the chest this time, the thought occurred to me I had no idea how many rounds I had left.

OOC fanfic's ok, probably better off in the creative writing section
and the fact that bolt pistol's aren''t an every day sidearm as they kick LIKE A BITCH, but probably surviveable, if arm numbing

He's running off adrenaline, I did consider a bit about the kick bud decided against, may be in the final draft

Right now Raevens just constantly rewriting the sex scene and debating whether or not he should use inperium weaponry to depict the climax *Cough* plasma cannon*cough*

OOC aye

That's a while off bush, getting in a nuns pants is gonna take a while

I know, but we also know that'll be the part that you become a perfectionist over

Of course I'll have to put "she came like a plasma cannon" in there too

XD

OOC oh look I'm not getting notified of Captain Raevan's posts

Same here

Ninja Reaven

As ordered I ran to her side, testing out my newly stolen sword on the way by swinging it full force into an orks face. It went straight through and kept on going, leaving a bemused looking greenskin with one eye, half a nose and a lot less blood.

It was at this point I caught her eye, her helmet turning to me. they say first impressions count, and to a sister, there isn't a better one than running towards her, covered in blood, with a freshly half decapitated ork behind you. I assumed I looked pretty badass, even if I was half shitting myself.

It was at that moment, she realised we were alone, against at least a hundred orks. She faced the prospect of her imminent death rather well. "I said guardsmen! Not guardsman! Who gave all of you permission to die?!" Shouting at corpses may seem idiotic, but it made me smile and confused the hell out of the greenskins.

good..gooodd...

Hello kitten

Captain Raeven wrote:

Also it might have sex in it because kitten told me to...

I should probably point out at this point in space and time that posting pr0n is not against the rules of this site.... it is against forumotion itself. so...technically its against this site too...

Oh good, that means I don't have to write this shit for kittens screwed up mind.

Also, shouldnt this be in the creative corner?

Just send him a link to 1d4chan, the sheer amount of NFSW is both hilarious and unbelievable

OOC: Heretical love is always an option... hell, its even funny as hell...
on an unrelated note, i finally got around to doing that *thing* i talked about. its in the creative corner for anyone whos interested

OOC: Heretical Love is good.....or so I've heard *poker face*

I just finished reading that *thing*, I want to say you missed a Monty Python joke but I won't.

4chan??? Oh god no

Sir_BushWookie wrote:

OOC: Heretical Love is good.....or so I've heard *poker face*

I just finished reading that *thing*, I want to say you missed a Monty Python joke but I won't.

How do we know shes a witch? Didnt want to blow it in the first episode.

Hehehe

"And that is how we know the world is Banana shaped."

Yo bitches you want long sections or short bits more often?

"Who should we ask for permission to die?" I raise my arm to fire again, bracing for the recoil this time. Blowing the brain out of another orks skull, soon followed by his face. "Do not ask permission if you do not, guardsman, it's rude." Under that helmet, I swear she was grinning. Nothing gets a sisters blood pumping like slaughter, I suppose.

I smiled at him, the last guardsman alive, who would most likely be my companion on the long walk to terra and the emperor's side. At least he was competent, I fully expect to take at least half of these xenos with me. Another wave of greenskins is almost upon us, my bolter spits holy retribution. 'In battle all sins are cleansed by fire' that's what Sister superior Hedia said. Combat is truly glorious, to do the emperors work is good, the older sisters always said. They never mention how good it feels, to mow down hundreds of filthy xenos for countless crimes against the imperium. By the golden throne I have to smell it, recycled air cannot compare to the iron stench of blood. I tossed my helmet to the ground, the tactical information basically worthless now anyway. The tang of blood filled my nostrils, such a sweet smell to come from xenos.

I was just joking when I wanted sexy things to happen in this

but its oaky

Mega hue already happened here
Admitadlly I do have a messed up mind doe

On the outside I have the personality sort of like Nurgle
Inside my head is messed up and heavily influenced with Khornate
Bit when the Slaaneshi rises up it is potent 

Yeah I get messed up too

well, in my case its more just flamboyancey

Spelt inerectly I am aware of that

I like humour... And anti heroes, guessed that yet... Not like all my characters are those

i found some art that will make sense later, it'll give a good idea of what im going for with a bit that happens later possibly (if not its just cool)

Spoiler:

The colors on that armor don't bode well

not chaos, still has the seals on it

Yeah, just the colors match the Death Guard

yeah, i think its supposed to be a battle scarred salamander

The near gold trimmings switches from possible Salamander to absolute Death Guard
The artist had an idea and accidentally made the color scheme of a traitor legion

still some nice art

plus noone mourns a plague marine

I know, could be earlier in time
Or one of the few who defected from the legion and just died later on

Like the picture could the the armor of a loyalist left for dead in a juble only be to be found some time later by this woman

if it was a loyalist she'd be crying her eyes out

That's the thing
This loyalist is dead for how long? 
I was saying this is a long dead loyalist that has only been found around the time she found him
During the Horus Heresy a lot of planets were lost and had to be reclaimed after the Siege of Terra was lifted
Odds are there are still unaccounted Astartes that are dead and lost in the wilds and depths of planets, such as this one here

possibly, you're basically writing the story for me now fea ;p

Just beware my toxic footprint